Alleviate Detrimental Imposter Syndrome when Working Remotely

Alleviate Detrimental Imposter Syndrome when Working Remotely

“I still have a little imposter syndrome… It doesn’t go away, that feeling that you shouldn’t take me that seriously. What do I know? I share that with you because we all have doubts in our abilities, about our power and what that power is.” 

Guess who said that? 

Michelle Obama did. And her repertoire is extraordinarily prolific – attorney, former FLOTUS, best-selling author, and mother.  

It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, imposter syndrome can creep in, leaving you doubtful about your own capabilities, with feelings of inadequacy setting in. Imposter Syndrome is a real thing, because when one of the most influential women in the world can have imposter syndrome, what more the rest of us? 

What exactly is imposter syndrome?

Experiencing bouts of self-doubt from time to time is normal – those occasional cold feet and jitters. But imposter syndrome is when you have insanely high self-expectations, leading to chronic self-doubt. 

A blanket definition of imposter syndrome is, ‘a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalised fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.  The psychological spiral often comes in the sense of not doing things right, so you will be exposed one day as a fraud. When you have imposter syndrome, you feel as if you don’t deserve to be where you are. When this persists, self-sabotage, immense stress, and a lack of self-worth and self-belief will terrorise you. This can be extremely damaging and lead to the decline of mental health. The first step to overcome imposter syndrome is to acknowledge that it exists. Only then can you work to mitigate it. 

There are five types of imposter syndrome, which can affect remote workers individually or jointly. Let’s look at the five dimensions of imposter syndrome; you can take this opportunity to self-diagnose and identify the type of affliction that has overcome you. When you know the problem, only then can you curb it at the roots. 

  1. The Perfectionist’s primary focus is, of course, perfection. If you feel like a failure for getting 99/100, fretting about that one point, ignoring the 99, you are a perfectionist. So, if your work has 1 flaw, you’d punish yourself endlessly for it. 
  2. The Expert is all about what and how much you know. You expect to know everything and are a serial Googler. Even a minor lack of knowledge can lead you down to the internal Walk of Shame. You focus so much on what you don’t know that you often fail to make the most of what you do know. 
  3. The Soloist’s sole aim is to finish first without soliciting help from anyone – you only feel accomplished when you did something solo. Team achievements don’t count as an achievement for you. You think you must do everything on your own because you regard asking for help is a sign of failure. 
  4. The Genius strives to be a Jack of all trades and master of everything. For you, competence is measured in terms of ease and speed. You want to be able to master a subject or skill swiftly. You want your work to be a flawless masterpiece in the first attempt. Corrections, suggestions, and other opinions denote shameful failure for you.  
  5. The Superhero primarily wants to excel in all the roles they play – a worker, a parent, partner, on the home front, host/hostess, friend, volunteer. Falling short even in one role will evoke insecurity and inadequacy because you feel that you should be able to handle it all — perfectly and easily. 

What causes imposter syndrome when you work remotely? How can you get rid of it? 

Although remote work has been a boon for many, enabling them to have more control over their working environment and day-to-day life, and providing more work opportunities, it doesn’t mean that everything will always be smooth-sailing. 

The unique nature and challenges of remote work per se make imposter syndrome extend its insidious tentacles, drowning remote workers in the waters of pernicious and persistent self-doubt. There are reasons for this. And there are ways to overcome the pervading lack of self-belief and heightened self-doubt. Let’s look at the reasons and solutions: 

Reason 1: Physical and social isolation 

Since remote work means you work in solitude, your thoughts are louder. You are more likely to self-talk since there are no colleagues around you to talk to. It will be easier to question your productivity, whether you are doing enough, or maybe even if you deserve that increment or promotion. This is because there is little tangible evidence to show if you are adding meaningful value to your team, department, and ultimately, to your company. You can feel like you’re the sore thumb sticking out or worse, feel like your success was brought about by pure luck and not the result of your acquired prowess. This misaligned perception of productivity and misplaced precepts of additional value can increase stress and leave you with a feeling of unworthiness. What’s tragic is that the entire team could be feeling the same due to the remote nature of the work – no one would even know that the feeling is mutual. 

How to overcome physical and social isolation? 

Listen to music as you work – flip out your favourite playlists/albums – this can shut out thoughts of self-doubt. Text your colleagues on remote work communication applications for non-work-related casual talk. Give each other heads up and complement one another’s work while giving words of encouragement. Hold daily/weekly touch base meetings where you can talk about your tasks for the day/week; you can check if your team’s workflow is syncing with your work pace and execution. Organise virtual coffee meetings where you can talk about what is happening with you (e.g., how you are feeling, your concerns about work, what do you do outside work hours) and interact with your colleagues on the same. Constantly keeping in touch reduces fears and self-doubt because everyone can talk about what’s troubling them and see how others can help. It’s okay to be vulnerable here. The intent is, to be honest and upfront for the benefit of everyone. 

Reason 2: Next to nothing in-person feedback 

Remote work means that you’re scattered – sometimes in different countries and across time zones. Sometimes, your colleague or manager may be sleeping while you’re working. Thus, remote work doesn’t present many opportunities to provide reinforcing feedback, which can result in feelings of inadequacy.  

How to overcome next to nothing in-person feedback? 

Engage in a weekly activity where you and your co-workers take turns to do a presentation about something worth sharing. Use Ps and Qs liberally – it’s neither excessive nor cloying to say “please” and “thank you” – whether you’re communicating asynchronously or sending work emails. Always apply this lesson you learned from school. If you liked your subordinate’s/colleague’s work, compliment them openly. Use phrases like, “Good job!” and “I like that!” to support the efforts and out-of-the-box thinking of your co-workers. Greet your remote team members daily and ask them if everything is good – update each other about your tasks and your individual progress, then consolidate the progress. You can enliven your remote workspace and yourself by overcommunicating like this while curbing imposter syndrome.  

Reason 3: Improper goal communication 

Sometimes, when team or project goals are not properly articulated, it can cause self-doubt. And if you are a soloist and perfectionist, you will feel like you are stuck. Since you consider asking for help and questions as a sign of weakness and incompetence, you run around in circles, which gets you nowhere. So, you end up making avoidable mistakes, ones you wouldn’t have made if you reached out to your colleagues/project leader/project manager. 

How to overcome improper goal communication? 

Remote project leaders must take the time and effort to communicate the goals of a project or the mission of the organisation. It will help leaders if they know the strengths of their team members so that they can align tasks based on those strengths. If certain remote team members are too quiet, enquire if they are coping; provide support if you note that they are struggling. Ask if they need help. Actively verbalise why the individuals who form the remote project team are valuable in their unique ways and that the project’s success is every team member’s success because of collaborative effort. 

Reason 4: Undue focus on mistakes 

Self-depreciation is a major trait in imposter syndrome. When something goes wrong, you pile the blame and fault onto yourself. You tend to feel that you are the only one who is tripping on yourself and slacking off. Since you gravitate toward dwelling and fretting over mistakes, you sometimes refrain from doing something just because you made a mistake in the past. You’re afraid of trying because “What if I mess up again?” You also hold back from sharing mistakes out of embarrassment.  

How can you overcome the undue focus on mistakes? 

Everyone makes mistakes – mistakes make you grow when you learn from them. Improvement is the result of mistakes. When something goes wrong and you know that it will affect the whole company/team/project, share it constructively. Then, take a step back and contemplate how you can rectify the mistake, find ways so it doesn’t recur, and mostly learn from it. Sharing mistakes lets you know that you are not the only one making them and it can taper off imposter syndrome. Remember that transparency and accountability are the major combatants of imposter syndrome – it provides the understanding that we’re only human, figuring things out as we go along. 

Reason 5: The lack of nonverbal cues 

Research by Albert Mehrabian shows that 55% of communication is body language, 38% is the tone of voice, and only 7% is the actual words themselves. This fact makes telecommunication and asynchronous communication (which is the lifeblood of remote work) a nightmare. If you’re already susceptible to imposter syndrome, the lack of nonverbal positive reinforcement can send you down the path of anxiety and insecurity.  

How to overcome the lack of nonverbal cues? 

Use emojis, GIFs, memes, and reaction options to replace your nonverbal cues during asynchronous communication. Be more mindful when sending emails and texts – write better. Give reassurances about a job well done. During a Zoom meeting, turn on your camera and maintain eye contact with appropriate body gestures. 

Reason 6: Managers’ inability to adapt 

Managers are facing an unprecedented transition in their professional lives due to the shift to remote work. Imposter syndrome can be stoked up when managers are not adapting to remote work successfully. Micromanagement – constantly messaging you to check if you’re working or on protracted absence because the distance can trigger serious self-doubts and undue anxiety.  

How to overcome managers’ inability to adapt? 

The challenge is to adapt a management style that will suit remote work processes. Managers should also be hyper-aware of how imposter syndrome can infiltrate their remote workers and take steps by validating their employees in a broader spectrum; this is especially applicable to asynchronous communication. Instead of just saying “Ok” (or worse, “K”) to a lengthy typed-out suggestion, you should be more conversational and extend an appreciative tone such as, “Ok, that’s a good one.” It will give so much positive reinforcement than a mere “Ok” that may be interpreted as mediocre satisfaction or even anger, leaving the remote worker baffled and worried! It’s understandable that you think you save time by typing “Ok” or you think it’s sufficient feedback but it’s not, especially for rookie remote workers. You need to magnify your positive tone and, it is time well-spent – a big part of management and leadership is taking the time and making the effort to give a detailed response with carefully chosen words. It is not the place to play word-economy or resort to SMS language. 

Reason 7: False sense of insecurity due to isolation 

It’s easy to feel isolated when working remotely. Sometimes, the isolation gets to you, and you begin to feel like you are not an integral part of the team. No one calls you nor texts you. Sometimes, you may even feel that your team has a group chat on MS Teams without you. These feelings of worthlessness eventually fester to the paranoia of your likeability related to your performance or differences which can be a serious setback. 

How to overcome the false sense of insecurity due to isolation? 

Because you are not physically in the same workspace, you should exert effort to be more socially connected. Social connection is a crucial component in team building. Replace water cooler conversations with weekly virtual coffee calls with your team where you have casual talks that move on to work-related conversations. You can organise virtual games or even social events outside of work where you can meet your remote colleagues and build a sense of community. You can share pictures of yourself in your cultural dress, talk about the festival you’re celebrating, or the cute thing your pet did last week. Stay connected with your remote colleagues on social media outside of your work hours. All these are basic but highly effective in combating remote work isolation. 

Final words that may surprise you… 

Recent findings suggest that imposter syndrome is critically detrimental when it’s at its extreme poles (black and white). However, certain grey areas in imposter syndrome benefit people, including remote workers. So, it’s up to you to proactively assess the degree of imposter syndrome that you are experiencing and leverage on or eliminate it – it’s a process that requires work.  

As top companies foreground remote work, efforts to balance out imposter syndrome will be undertaken widely. The organisational culture itself needs to be embedded with traits that keep the black and white harmful effects of imposter syndrome at bay while reaping its benefits in the grey areas. It is both an individual and an organisational effort. Take it one step at a time. Apply some critical and strategic thinking, execution, an appropriate dose of empathy and compassion – and experience the difference! 

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